xo

I was debating about whether or not to post this, to be honest. Firstly because I seem to post this all the time, and secondly, it just makes me look like a dill.

But from the other perspective, I guess I feel comfortable in the fact that I just keep trying and even though this is boring for you (fuck knows if anyone even reads this dribble any more) I never promised it would be a short or exciting journey.

I’m searching for a new “plan” to get excited about. It’s stupid, but I need a gimmick. I need new things to learn and try. I know… pa-the-tic.

I’m starting that 7 day Belly Fat Blast thinger – you know, you’ve seen it everywhere. I’ve also decided to switch from kgs to lbs starting immediately – I think I’ve got a mental “thing” with seeing kilos and not being able to take myself below that bracket, yano? WEighing yourself is just a measurement, so I have no attachment or real understanding of lbs really, so I figure this will help me.

Oh god, at this point, I totally feel like such a loser – but a loser with a plan!

So with a laugh and a shrug – I’m moving on and moving forward. oi vey! :p

Recently I got an email selling one of those weightloss hypnosis tapes. Yes, yes, sound the alarm bells – but I’ve been really focusing on the mental side of things lately, because I know the nutritional guidelines backwards and have elebenty trillion workout programs – but I’ve always felt that the mental aspect needed work.

Anyway, can I just say that it has been brilliant? Firstly, I feel so calm and refreshed after my 20 minute session and secondly, my adherance to good eating and drinking water has been 100% better already. So I’m going to keep going with it. Anything that makes me relaxed and promotes better habits is a win in my books.

I’ve also had a lovely week with 2 squares of Lindt 85% chocolate after dinner every day and I’ve just adored it. Something to look forward to each day!

I haven’t been posting as much as I’d like – work is stupid busy and my focus has been elsewhere. But things are good – all things. I’m just trucking along trying to be the best I can be. No idea what the weight is, but it isn’t important.

Sendin out love and happy vibes xo

I can not tell you what is going on with me – I manage to have a great week and then blow it in one go. This brutally honest approach I’m taking to tracking calories is leaving me no where to hide! I can see the damage I’ve done – and I’m gobsmacked.

Can I make a bit of an admission? I don’t think I’ve ever realised how bad my calorie counting and tracking skills have been. I’ve never tracked calories to this level – working out my deficits and all of that.. and what it is showing me is that even having a flat white can make a huge difference in my deficit.

Look at all make sense doesn’t it – I’m sure we all know this on an intellectual level.. but I’ve never done the maths. This is the first time I’ve had a deficit goal and I am so aware of the consequences of even small deviations. It is a totally different way of looking at the problem and I’m glad I’m doing it – even though it is uncomfortable to see the results!

Having said that, it hasn’t stopped me from having some pretty big blowouts. Once a week to be exact. There is a pattern – Thursdays look like my danger day. But here’s the thing. This week, i was ready – and all that did was move my blowout to Friday.

Anyway, no complaints, no excuses – just solutions.

Each week I plan my menu for the week ahead and this week, I’ve added some dark chocolate (85%) to my daily menu. I’m hoping that this little indulgence (only 20g worth, but that is still 1/5 of a Lindt package!) will satisfy me and avoid my blowouts.

I’ve been revisiting goal setting and mental strategies – even to the point where I have changed the language to make it more “me”. So for example, “I’m so happy and grateful” becomes “I’m so fucking thrilled” – and you know what? It makes it so much easier to have those goals front of mind, cos it is in my language.

I’m also aware that at the moment, I am going through some wonderful changes (even though they are a bit stressful) where I am on the verge of breaking in to the life that I want. I’m starting to really work out what it is that I want to do and am working to make it all happen. It is a rather exciting time – but I need to contol emotional eating. It simply isn’t the right thing to do!

Ok, well onwards and upwards – I’m optimistic about everything at the moment, and I can beat this emotional eating.

7:30am on a Sunday and I need to get the groceries. Have a great day!

OK, so for a while now, I’ve been really reluctant to go to the gym and when I make myself go, I just feel wrong. I realised that each of the workout spaces I’ve had access to make me uncomfortable.

On reflection, Fernwood had the most comfortable environment (apart from my stalker!) It was clean, quiet and I had full access to everything – mostly because no one ever did weights. I had lots of room and I felt safe.

At Elite, well I never did feel quite right. There were lots of weights, but it got crowded and I found it hard to share with the big muscle men, because I felt like an intruder – being the only chick and a bigger one at that. I’m sure they didn’t care, but the point is.. I did. I mostly pushed through it, but after my last injury and the big spack attack I had on the Extreme Fat Loss Diet, I just never quite got back to being able to push through it.  The staff there never said hell0, they were pretty unfriendly and I hated having to walk through the weights room after I had showered to leave the gym. I felt so conspicuous. Actually, that pretty much sums up my entire feeling there.

Conspicuous: easily seen or noticed; readily visible or observable.

So I’m currently at another gym until mid-october until my 24-hour gym opens. This new one is ok, but it isn’t set up right.

They really rely heavily on machine weights and with the exception of a smith machine and perhaps an assisted chin-up/dip machine, I really dislike using machines. I love my free weights. There are 3 weight workout areas. At first I thought – WOO! Amazing, but now that I’ve tried to use them I can see their limitations.

There is a women’s area and I thought I’d use that for a while – I’m still incredibly self conscious when doing plyometrics and all of those gross things like burpees and would prefer to do them in a quiet area. The women’s area is fine, they’ve got a few weight benches, fit balls, cardio machines and weight machines. Thing is, they’ve got dumbbells – but no barbells. None at all. Not even a bodypump set. The women’s area is downstairs and I don’t fancy lugging barbells up and downstairs.  So whilst I feel quite comfortable there, I can’t work out effectively.

Upstairs, there are two weights areas, surrounded by every machine in the world. The first area is almost like an afterthought and is quite crowded. It’s just the layout really, but apart from that it is effectively in full view of the entire gym (it’s a weird circular arrangement). I did a middle of the day workout there, which was by no means “peak” time and it was crowded with just two of us working out.

The other workout area is the “advanced training studio”, which technically is where I’m best suited to working out. So many free weights and mirrors – but it is where all the big boys hang out and chat. Even at 5:30am. It is even less welcoming than Elite.

I really hate that – I hate feeling intimidated. If I was just doing weights, then i suppose it would be ok, but my workouts are full of dynamic training, jumping lunges, starjumps etc – all things that a girl with lots of flying flab and big boobs does NOT want to be doing in public. In the past, I’ve even done my burpees in the change rooms so as not to be seen. That’s how much i hate doing them in public.

I appreciate that I should be able to feel free enough to do these things in whichever part of the gym I please – but I’ve seen the biggest loser, and one thing I know is that flying flubber is not attractive. I appreciate that getting fit is not a sexy process, and I’m ok with – I love that I truly earn my results – but it is *my* process and not one I want to share with a bunch of strangers at the gym.

So where does this leave me? Well, for the next 30 days, I am trying out the Double Edged Fat Loss workouts – you might have seen them? I can’t wait to try them – they need minimal equipment (so I can go and workout in the women’s room!) and will challenge me physically in a way that my body has never worked before. Apart from the warmup, no jmping or jiggling involved.

All of this has really brought home the importance of a good workout space – somewhere you feel comfortable and safe. The thing is, I haven’t been feeling weird about exercising in general, I’ve been doing alot of walking and outdoors stuff – but I miss my gym workouts.

Once the 24 hr gym opens, I’ll have the freedom to change my workout times to find a time that is reasonably quiet – so I’m optimistic about that.

I’ll be going back to the body balance class tonight, I felt so good after being all stretched out like that!

Hope you guys out there are all doing well!

Decent results this week, even if they be most fluid losses. I’m down 1.6kg and .8% bodyfat (noting that my scales probably aren’t so accurate, but is useful for capturing trends). Also down 5cm across my spare tyre, waist and hips.

My overall calorie deficit for the 7 days was 4965 – I was aiming for 7000. I had 3 rest days, when I was only entitled to 2.

Another 1.5kg and I will have broken through my little cycle of being stuck in a 3 or 4 kg rut. I always love that feeling.

Starting my week off with a body balance class tonight, My friend and I have ended up at the same gym and we thought we’d try and do a regular class together. Sunday afternoon isn’t usually the time I’d go to the gym, but I thought it would do me good to get a good stretch and try and exit the weekend feeling largely relaxed.

Anyway, only a short post, a few episodes of Six Feet Under are calling my name

I turned up to a small townhouse that was covered in cow ornaments and all manner of cow decorations – I thought “oh fuck, here we go”, I am not into novelty ornaments and knick-nacks at all. I was greeted by a tiny nervous woman, the mother of the bride, who fussed over me and asked lots of nervous questions. oh fer fucks sake!

The bride was chilled, and I did her makeup – it wasn’t my best work, but she was chuffed and I’ll sort it for the day. No dramas. Anyway, the mother was going to be one of my clients for the wedding day, and the more we chatted, the more I saw her chronic lack of self esteem. This poor woman was talking about ruining her daughter’s wedding day because she was so ugly. (!!!)

Now that just breaks my heart. It really really does. The whole reason I got into makeup was after my own mother cried with happiness after having her makeup professional applied and seeing herself as a beautiful woman. It means so much to me that all women have that same feeling when they look at themselves – it isn’t about stacks of makeup, it’s just about grooming with a few special touches and it makes the world of difference.

So I offered the mother a bit of a trial before the wedding so that on the day, she could relax about how she looked and not worry about it so much. I said I’d do it at a big discount, cos it wasn’t about the money. Anyway, as we chatted further and when I realised that the bride was happy with what I’d done in such a short time, I offered the mother a go in the chair immediately – on the house. I said all that I’d do is some light foundation, blush, mascara and some lipgloss (my 5 minute personal makeup routine) just to get her feeling more comfortable.

Whilst she was in the chair, she really opened up to me and just talked about her recent ill health and how she never feels good enough to be cared for. She just kept squeezing my arm and saying thankyou over and over.

Anyway, I seriously did the lightest makeup job ever and took her into the bathroom and she just teared up and hugged me. Honestly, my heart nearly exploded. The bride got all teary and and we all had a bit of a moment.

The bride paid in full for the wedding on the spot – which is unusual – and I left feeling happy and truly wonderful. It was so lovely to have such a positive and affirming experience and share it with two lovely people.

It was also so special to be able to make someone feel so beautiful and worthy. I have never had so many hugs in such a short period of time.

It was the whole reason I got into the makeup business and it was awesome to be reminded of that.

xoxo

The best thing about my detailed tracking is that I can see my blowout in context. Yeah, it was nearly 1000 calories over my target, but only 400 over my daily requirements. Yeah, I didn’t exercise – but given everything I’ve done this week, I’m still ok.  Not great, but ok. I don’t need to freak out.

Hooray!!

I had planned  a big post based on a tinybuddha article, but I’ve already been distracted by housework – perhaps something better to do when I’ve crossed off all of my chores.

Happy happy friday – not long until the weekend proper arrives.

I’m chowing down on my oats, cottage cheese and berries and feeling pretty good after two days back on weights.

I had my first uni exam yesterday and the relief I’m feeling that it is over is just immeasurable.

I’ve been on track and my fluid spike seems to have gone.

For me, this feeling is the best – just feeling back in control and in a nice groove. In my past life, as a jazz singer, you’d feel this – you’d be doing a tune and yano, on the surface everything seems fine, and it sounds ok – but then something changes and kapow, it just feels awesome and everyone just sort of relaxes into it.

That’s where I am now.. the sweet spot and I”m not intending on leaving any time soon!

Activity wise, things are good – I walked 10km on Sunday and the last 2km were hard going for my arse muscles, lemme tell you! I’m back doing the Final Phase Fat Loss exercise plan – which is 6 weeks of rotating Dynamic, Density, Strength, lactic Acid and HIIT workouts.

This is the same kind of workout that I did for Extreme Fat Loss Diet and I love the variety and the challenging aspects of it. I’ve already done Dynamic and Lactic Acid and get a rest day tomorrow. What’s not to love about that?

Anyway – I’m back in the groove again and feeling elebenty billion times better for it.

Will probably be blogging a bit more now that I’m “resting” facebook, so will have to put some effort in to keeping things fresh. Cos yano.. it’s been nearly 2 years of dehefting now, gotta spice things up a bit.

happy tuesday mowles xo

Last night I set up a big fat mega tracking sheet. On the first sheet I have all the vitals. Weight, BF% (plus LBW in kg and Fat in kg) the weekly differences in those figures – plus all of the tape measuring points.

On the second sheet I have my Total Daily Expenditure Estimate, calories in, calories out and the total resulting deficit. I want to see if that whole 7000 calories in a kg of fat rings true – that if I can create a 1000 calorie per day deficit, will I end up losing a kg of fat a week. Meanwhile, creating that deficit isn’t that hard – I create 600 immediately through food and only need to do 400 of exercise to get me there.  On my current HRM, that is a bit harder – it only gives me about 400cals for an attack class, when on prevous HRMs, I’d easily get 800-1000cals. Still, it’s achievable.

I’m meeting a friend at 9:30am for a walk around the lake and breakfast. I’m going to go now and see if i can do a lap of the lake before I meet her… that’ll give me about 10km of walking today – noiiiice.

Have a great day and I’ll blog again during the week.